Love Affair Exposed

During the school year I find myself staring at the clock praying the seconds to miraculously tick faster to let me out of the institution and into the blissful freedom named summer. Summer promises fun and life and copious amounts of time to spend my days stress free. But I have a secret. I have always had a secret love affair with the end of summer. During summer, people travel and leave to go to their real homes. I usually spend the majority of the summer alone or in previous years working. This year I didn’t work and I think that was to my summers detriment. After 9 months of constant stress, worries and feelings of inadequacy I found myself with nothing but time. All summer I have craved for school to start again so that I can spend time with people that I have come to realize are my nursing school family. Spending 9 months out of the year with them then having a three month gap of their presence with a whole heck of a lot of time to sit and do nothing but think has lead me to crave their company once more. As I sit here on the eve of back to school I am content that these people will once again be my family. We will spend the next approximately 9 months together experiencing the ever present nausea that comes only when having to constantly prove yourself worthy enough to continue in the program in hopes of a future. I look forward to laughing, stressing, studying, crying, maybe even vomiting at their sides over our next 9 month sentence. On the other hand, back to school means back to school shopping and despite the fact that I have grown an uncharacteristic intense hatred for clothing shopping (meant to be remedied by my new gym regimen) I get to buy new pens, pencils, papers, binders, highlighters and the like. This kind of shopping makes me giddy with happiness as the excitement of a new year sets in and the nausea, fatigue and failure remains at bay. I will try to hold this silver-lining outlook for as long as possible to curb the negativity that will surely take over the next school year--- but due to experience I give it a week... Maybe not that long.